Should I Make My Husband Wonder If I’m Likely to Take Him Back After Their Affair?

I heard from the wife who said: “ even though I’ m so hurt and disappointment by my husband’ h affair, I am not going to give up on your pet or on our marriage. However , I’ m not sure that I want meant for him to know this. I have noticed that when I act indecisive, he is out of his way to be accommodating and affectionate, but when I start talking about our future, then he isn’ t nearly as loving. I had been discussing this with my friend and I’ ve told her that I’ m going to play hard to obtain. What I mean by this is that I’ m going to make my husband wonder what I’ m going to do. We don’ t want for your pet to take it for granted that will I’ m going to give him a second chance. I want for him to consider that he has to be on his best conduct. And, I think that if he believes that I might leave, he will value me more. But my friend says that this is playing games and that it could be a mistake. I don’ t see the problem. Who is right? Should I enjoy hard to get after my husband’ s affair? ”

3 Responses to “Should I Make My Husband Wonder If I’m Likely to Take Him Back After Their Affair?”

  • stingerms:

    Hi I’d I grew to become not far from someone at the office, we began meeting up and taking pleasure in one anothers company.

    He was married with 2 children, I had been engaged to become married inside a couple of days time.

    Me and my Fiance were getting problems and that i felt lonely, his mother-in-law was disturbing the marriage.

    Anyway this guy stored asking me to depart my fiance because he desired to leave his wife. To chop a lengthy story short, he switched up after departing his wife and requested me to finish it with my fiance, he was putting more pressure than normal on me and I wasn’t sure. I began to consider when this guy really loved me he wouldn’t be putting a lot pressure on me, I had been so stressed I’d a nervous breakdown – I believe.

    He drove me to mine to finish it with my fiance, my fiance was waiting up for me personally and that i was concerned and so i couldnt get it done!! I desired time. And So I went out of the door this other guy drove us to some hotel – I did not actually want to visit expensive hotels I simply took it throughout my parents house for advice. My fiance was worried so he went searching for me, including round my parents house, he even known as law enforcement as this am from character. There have been no rooms in the hotel therefore we just stopped in the vehicle (we didnt do anything whatsoever intimate aside from hug).

    Anyway I panicked felt sick also it all felt morrally wrong and so i went round my parents my fiance adopted me, I wound up getting married to my fiance so we make transformed to the relationship.

    Meanwhile, this guy began texting just b4 the marriage saying he felt used etc. I felt awful but still had feelings for him but still was unsure about my decision.

    Finally, 2 days after my wedding, he went with another friend from work and she or he split up her long-term relationship (her boyfriend wouldn’t propose) to get along with him as she loved him too.

    It has been almost 24 months because this happened and that i have just discovered they’re marriage and feel a pang of jealously (I understand this really is wrong), I actually do love my hubby however this other guy helped me feel stand out also it was all romantic, reading through my story, do you consider I designed a large mistake? I’d appreciate any advice x

    *sorry I meant my mother in law

    I told my hubby everything before we’ve got married – so there’s no secrecy about this not to mention I transformed jobs, I’d too. This guy and the new girlfriend helped me feel uncomfortable at the office and so i had too.

    I appreciate all of the advice, It may be the grass is eco-friendly and that i was suspicious at just how quick he moved, saying he loved me and speaking about marriage and youngsters, males seldom do this.

  • borabora5524:

    how do you get past your husband cheating? I still feel like in my gut that he cheated even when he says he didn’t…He gets to go on with his life and believe his lie,and I have to be stuck with this gut feeling that he didnt tell me the whole truth.does it ever go away,and can I or will I actually ever trust him again?,I’m starting to think I wanna give up on this 9 year relationship.but I care too much about what it will do to my kids. He has come a loooong way and is a muchhh better husband to me now,but sometimes I just can’t shake the feeling inside,of him lying to me and cheating.is my gut playing tricks on me?

  • Elijah luv:

    Before anyone gets the wrong idea here, my husband impregnated me just before he left (like literally the day he left). I did not have an affair or even talk to another man while he was deployed. Besides our faith in God, vows, and moral upright attitudes, we are overwhelming in love with only each other (we make people throw up because it is so extreme).

    Now, the reason I am asking this question and seeking opinions is because I’m known as a joker with my husband because I love to make him laugh. We have been having a hard time conceiving for about almost a year that we have been having unprotected sex. All attempts have failed and we were already considering adoption because our faith restrains us from exploring infertility treatments besides prayer that aren’t absolutely medically necessary. My husband has been completely supportive and excited whether we became pregnant or adopted, so we were set. So just before he got on the plane, I made a joke saying, :” Honey, I promise I will not try and conceive while you are deployed.” We laughed and said our goodbyes because we have this type of relationship, but ya know with military men and horror stories of the infidelity that goes on in the military, I shouldn’t have made that joke at that time. He knows I am loyal and despise adultery. But still..

    Ok well, I was waiting for my period this month and I totally expected it. With age my period has become more and more likely to be irregular than regular (i know oxymoron but I don’t know another way to explain it), so I expected it to be late. However, it totally didn’t come expect for brief spotting when I usually have a VERY heavy cycle. So, I thought I was going through menopause before ever thinking pregnancy. Well, belief in God is very effective because guess what..there is a bun in my oven! Go figure!

    Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has some advice on how I can break this news to my husband (after making the joke I mentioned earlier) while he is deployed or should I wait until he comes back?

    I really don’t need the congratulations ladies (i know this is always expected although I don’t know why) because pregnancy is not an achievement that takes talent or skill. It is a normal function of life. I’m pleased that it has occurred, but I would have been just as happy if I would have adopted, as well.
    Carly- I can understand your perspective as a “gift”, but I, personally, don’t feel that way and neither does my husband. But, “gift” is a better term than “Blessed” because it can make many women who cannot conceive feel inferior, left out, or not “blessed” when God will bless them with adopting a child who needs parents. My husband like to think of pregnancy as pleasant and exciting surprises like getting flowers and candy delivered to your work. We were having a great time at work without the flowers and candy, but the sentiment is an addition :)

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